I think I have Arthritis. No seriously my knees are aching terribly all evening, and I think we are supposed to get some showers tomorrow. Blegh, maybe I should get it checked out before my insurance runs out when I graduate. Speaking of graduation, it's around the corner. And it is scaring the living day lights out of me. Me, a college graduate, in about two more weeks ins. Who would have thunk it(fine, thought but I like saying thunk)? My thesis is coming along nicely. After being terrified that I would not get 50 pages done, I am not up to page 60!! And I still have a bit more to go. I am meeting with my advisor tomorrow to straighten things out so I can be on my merry way of the final draft!! Today we had the final broadcast of the Badger Report. I was the Assosiate Producer. It is a huge relief to be entirely done with one class. Now I have a final exam and 7 page paper left for the upcoming weeks. I took copious number of photos during our last session, and our little gathering at the Memorial Union Terrace. The photos are up in Flickr as usual. A couple of days ago I had a lot of trouble speaking. Seriously I would say the weirdest things. Alex made a joke about writing them all down. Turns out he wasn't joking!! So here are some "kelebekisms
"My mom is really scared of heights-- she's tortified..." "Wow. this has one teeblespun of fate..." "Here, you can have the last elmind, Alex..." "You took advantage of me when I was in a vulnerable position! Write that down somewhere..." Ahh, yes the good old times at room 477 (or is it M477 Mr. Bahleeezterreeeee?) Speaking of Mr. Bahleeezteeerreeeeee, he has been learning this thing called "vector images" I am not quite sure how it's done, but here's one he did for me.
Nice huh? Do notice the butterflies 0n the scarf!! kelebek }{
I give my hand to you with all my heart Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start You and I will never be apart My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live I will love you, I promise you this There is nothing I wouldn't give From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love And you're the answer to my prayers from up above All we need is just the two of us My dreams came true because of you -- Shania Twain
Posted at 3:26 AM
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
tow sappy
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart Without saying a word you can light up the dark Try as I may I could never explain What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall You say it best when you say nothing at all -- Alison Krauss
kelebek }{
Posted at 12:48 AM
Monday, April 24, 2006
tow 52 pages
I will give you one guess to figure out the reason for my happiness? YUP! My thesis finally reached, and exceeded 50 pages. Unbeliavable. If this is not a Kodak moment I don't know what is?! My thesis is not done yet of course, but I hit the magical number of 5-0. That means everything I write now doesn't have to be extended as looooooooooong as possible. I can say what I mean and move on to the next subject instead of dancing around the subject!!
A medium shot of me freaking out when I realized I exceeded 50 pages. You can't tell on the screen that well, but I am point to a screen of 52 pages. Here is a shot of my desktop with it.
Elhamdurillah!!
Meanwhile Mr. Bahliz-Tari was working on his own paper. He got 10 pages done. When this is all done we are going out for Ice-Cream and Kabul Restaurant (well that kinda depends on me not spending all my money on coffee!!)
In the library we were able to register for a private study room. The room came with a board, so we took advantage of it.
And me again. Coffee so I can stay awake, and not go crazy. Cellphone so I can send txt and pic messages to T, to much annoyance of Mr. Bahliz-Tari. And my laptop of course. I think the monitor of my laptop sees me more than anybody else these days. Isn't that sad? It's late. I should sleep. Tomorrow is a bright day because I have 52 pages done, I can see the shore finally!! kelebek }{
Kalbim duraksiz hayrikirislarda Ne yapsam ayrilamam senden asla Hafife alma, ask vurur insana Bu kadar kolay sanma delikanlim -- Yildiz Tilbe
Posted at 2:18 AM
Sunday, April 23, 2006
tow albums
Alex was saying today, "lets see what blue kelebek has to say" when he looked at my blog. Honestly I don't have anything to say. My thesis had sucked out all the words I have in my brain out of me. Word count on my thesis stands at 13,500 which adds up to 43 pages. Which means I have seven pages left. Except of course, I still have more things to write about, but once I hit that magical number of 50 I am free!! What else is happening? Nothing. Literally nothing. I go to class, go to a library or coffee shop write thesis, catch the 11:34 or 12:09 bus. Come home and zonk out. And repeat the process the next day. The highlight of my day was getting access to two albums I've been waiting forever for to come out. I am listening to one right now. Whoo hoo. kelebek }{
Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky A moment in your arms became the reason why And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness The only one I need until my dying breath And I would give you everything just to Feel your open arms -- Goo Goo Dolls
Posted at 1:10 AM
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
tow lack of productivity
I have to admit something. I only wrote one more pages on my thesis. Argh, lets just leave it at that shall we? Alex came up with rules for our coffee shop crawl 1) We have to be studying at a different coffee shop everday 2) Shoot I forgat. Must have been a lie! Today we hit up Michelangelo's Coffee Shop on State street.
ELEVEN COMPONENTS OF A SUCCESSFUL STUDY SESSION AT A COFFEE SHOP 1) A laptop so you can work anywhere 2) An outlet, because the laptop batteries don't last 5 hours (not ours anyway) 3) Ibuprofen (pain killer) for the shoulder cramps that develop after a long day of typing 4) caffeine-- nuff said 5) Cellphone incase for text messaging SOS to friends (and annoying the ones you are with) 6) Highlighter so you can show off all the work you've done reading 7) Trival Pursuit circa 1970 for when you take a break
8) Fashionable white earbuds for listening to your music in privacy 9) An expression that shows how much agony you are in over your paper 10) Zillion pages of print outs to show off the copious amounts of research done
11) And most importantly, a friend to keep you focused (or out of focus by asking you questions about Russian cosmonauts!)
I am so excited about my shoes. No, they are not hand me ups!! They are mine! My mom bought them for me when I was in Milwaukee. Here they are.
Yea, my socks doesn't match. But I only have about half a second to get out of the house so I put on whatever is on the shelf! Tomorrow I pledge to finish typing page #40!!! Whoo hoo!! I can sooo do it people, right? RIGHT! kelebek }{
Nothing unusual, nothing strange Close to nothing at all The same old scenario, the same old rain And there's no explosions here Then something unusual, something strange Comes from nothing at all I saw a spaceship fly by your window Did you see it disappear? -- Damien Rice
Posted at 1:30 AM
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
tow mohawk
This is why it is fun to have roomates. It was around 3 in the morning when I woke up to a buzzing sound (ok I wasn't really sleeping but just in case my mom is reading my blog, I was sleeping). I ventured out of my room to the general direction of the sound. I didnt' have my glasses on but by squinting I saw that Rachel was giving Anna (my other roomate) a hair cut. On a closer inspection (read more squinting) I saw it was a mohawk. So here is Anna with her mohawk. I took this picture around 2 AM last night
While I am sharing random things, here is a painting I have hanging on my wall. I bought it from a second-hand store because I really liked the color and the frame was pretty too. You can see the postcards I have tucked in the frame. The top left is from Rachel when she was in Hawaii. Top right is from Alex when he was in Oregon over Spring break. Bottom left is from Rachel when she was in Turkey. And bottom right is from Alex when he was in Austria. I've been promised more postcards when Rachel goes to Germany this summer, and when Alex goes to Turkey this summer. YAY!
I am very proud to report that I have completed page 33 of my thesis tonight. Unfortunately I didn't get to page 35, so no icecream for me, but I did get my happy dance as promised!! YAY. UW-Madison is the land of libraries. The campus has 40+ libraries. Alex & I were planning on studying in each and everyone of those before graduation, except there is so little time left, and so many libraries. I suggested doing a "coffee shop crawl" instead since I live in coffee shops anyway. So here we are in Espresso Royale (the one by the Capitol). Mr. Baistiyriy is reading possibly the most boring book I've ever seen. There are entire chapters dedicated to last names of people! Why is he reading it?!
And me yawning while reading possibly the saddest story ever untold, Fallujah...
I am getting a picture taken for year book. I've been informed only sorority girls engage in such behavior. But my mom wants a picture. And you know what, my parents put me through for years of college, if they want a picture, they are getting a picture. So HA! Well, I better get my beauty rest so I can do my best impression of a sorority girl getting her fancy picture taken. kelebek }{
Mama just called and said she's tucked away Mama just called and said she's tucked away another day Her mama just called and said she's tucked away Her mama just called and said she's extra sad today
Well I spent the whole day yesterday on cliches about love Makin' me remember when your pushes became shoves
I wanted to go back and show you I needed to go back, I know it's wrong I'll have to get along -- Goo Goo Dolls (for those of you looking for some sort of meaning in this song, you, youwho you are :)! It was just the last song I heard today and it is stuck in my head!!)
Posted at 3:08 AM
Sunday, April 16, 2006
tow 23 pages
I am not sure if I should be proud to report I have 23 pages done. By this time I was planning to have my thesis pretty much done, so I am about halfway done. I just want to finish this and graduate already!! I suppose 23 completed pages is better than nothing done. I was planning on going to Milwaukee to visit my brother. I told my mom not to tell him I was coming, so she didn't and my brother made other plans. I was actually on the bus about to leave, but when I found out that he was going to his friends house and then to a basketball game, I decided to stay in Madison. He did call me though. He said, "I would have cancelled my plans for you." So, is he cute or what? I spent the rest of the day in the library. I did meet up with my friend Tina so that made the time in the library a little more bearable. The memorial library, has carrels from hell. I tried to find a photo of one of those carrels through google, but I guess they are too scary to be put in google. I will take a picture next time I go to the library. So these carrel are basically 3 by 5 openings in between the shelves. And you can close the door for added creepnies. I think they look more like cages, and Tina said jail cells. She proceeded to tell me the legend of a student who spent so much time in a carell that his spirit still haunts the library, so much that you can hear the bony fingers tapping on the keyboard. CREEPY!! Tomorrow brings more time at the library, and Easter to those who celebrate it. Think of me while having fun with whatever Easter activity your family takes part in. Eat a chocolate bunny for me, I never ate one now that I think about it. Hmm, maybe I'll pick one up on Monday when all the candy goes on clearence! YEAH. kelebek }{
(this song was stuck in my head today) Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these sunken eyes and learn to see All your life You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly Into the light of the dark black night. -- Beatles
Posted at 1:13 AM
Friday, April 14, 2006
tow tears
The stress is really starting to get to me. Today I left my broadcasting class in tears because I got a 2.8 on the week I produced. I got a 2.7 on the last assingment. What possesed me to take broadcast journalism class?! I am doing much better with print journalism. I guess I wanted to try my hand in something different, without thinking it would cost me my honors. I will declare here that I am not cut for broadcast journalism, I can't shoot, I can't edit, and now I know I can't produce. I know no one would want me as an anchor cuz I don't have the looks for that either. So basically no broadcast. I am not getting my honors becuase like I wrote before I need a 3.400 average, where I have 3.385. There is no way I am getting an AB in this class, so all this work is basically for nothing. I cried on the bus all the way home. I passed out on my bed and woke up at midnight. I think I am going back to sleep. This sucks & hurts more than I can explain. kelebek }{ Stranger than your sympathy This is my apology I'm killing myself from the inside out And all my fears have pushed you out
I wished for things that I don't need All I wanted And what I chase won't set me free All I wanted And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees
Oh yeah everything's all wrong yeah Everything's all wrong yeah Where the hell did I think I was -- goo goo dolls
Posted at 1:40 AM
Thursday, April 13, 2006
tow psa
Here is a public service announcement. Houses these days come with a wonderful feature called a "door" A door is defined as: 1. A movable structure used to close off an entrance, typically consisting of a panel that swings on hinges or that slides or rotates. Did you notice the part that says "close off an entrance" Please use it for its intended purpose when you are doing an action in your room that other people probably doesn't need to see. It will save you and your roomates awkward conversations in the morning. Thank you. With that out of my chest, I can talk about my brother. He went a specialist today and they did another X-Ray. Turns out there was a fracture in his ankle. Now he has to wear one of those boot thingees to protect his ankle. Elhamdurillah it wasn't more serious. The doctor said if he had fractured it a little above he would have needed surgery. I think ins I'll go home to see him on the weekend.
Here is a random collection of photos from my cellphone in no particular order: My brother in the car when we were going to Chicago. He was reading one of those "choose your own adventure" books so he was keeping track of what he has picked.
T saw this butterfly in the grocery store and he sent it to me.
Yup, that is a pair of Ugg Boots sitting on our lawn. Rachel said our downstairs neighbor, Ann, had thrown them out.
MasaAllah! This is the daughter of one of my friends in Chicago. Latife is the first red-headed Turk I've ever met!
Alex listening to my iPod. I downloaded the new Dogus album for him, but he said it wasn't that good. More library pictures coming soon, stay tuned!
I washed the dishes. YAY
A Northface Jacket I saw laying on the sidewalk. If I find a pair of huge sunglasses I can be a Coastie!!
Me working hard (or hardly working, I am not telling) on my thesis. Kelebek }{
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE CHAPTERS 1) I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost.....I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
2 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in agan. I can't believe I'm in the same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
3 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in...it's a habit My eyes are open I know where I am It is my fault. I get out immediately.
4 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it
5 I walk down another street. -- Nyoshul Khenpo
Posted at 2:02 AM
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
tow my poor brother
My brother called me today to inform of his ankle. He twisted it funny when he was playing basketball, my mom took him to the doctor. The doctor said he tore some muscle fibers around his ankle. The worst part is this week he goes on spring break (he's 11 by the way) and he has to spend it at home. I bought him a card, poor baby! Teresa & I spent time working on our broadcast story for Thursday. It is about Madison's 150's birthday. It will turn out pretty good hopefully! kelebek }{
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone, When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on. Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes. -- R.E.M I love you my dear friend... Hold on, ok?
Posted at 1:30 AM
Monday, April 10, 2006
tow spring
IT'S SPRING!! Techincally it was spring almost a month ago, but today feels like spring. I was in such a good mood today, I wanted to skip down the sidewalk. I did have two friends with me, and didn't want to embaress them, so catch me later today skipping around! Another sign of spring shirtless runners!! I spotted the very first shirtless runner today, which confirmed that is ofically spring! I am listening to the new Tarkan CD, Oh My God it is TERRIBLE!! I mean terrible, terrible, terrible, so terrible that it is making me cringe. First of all it is all in English, and come on are we not Americanized enough that the Turkish Pop icon has to have an entire album in English? The lyrics are terrible, I was going to post some gems here, but I like keeping my blog PG, so read them for yourself. And I watched the video, can you say "sexually explicit" well I just did. Makes me lose faith in Turkish Pop all together.. And what the heck is up with "Shikidim" yes, SHikidim!! I hope you enjoyed my cutie-pie childhood pictures, I received so much crap from my dad for posting them. But they are my pictures, and this is my blog, so I posted them!! Hopefully when I get a chance I'll scan more. I better get some work done on my thesis. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!! kelebek }{
Love can be a many splendored thing Can't deny the joy it brings A dozen roses, diamond rings Dreams for sale and fairy tales It'll make you hear a symphony And you just want the world to see But like a drug that makes you blind, It'll fool ya every time
The trouble with love is It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie It's stronger than your pride The trouble with love is It doesn't care how fast you fall And you can't refuse the call See, you got no say at all -- Kelly Clarkson
Posted at 6:11 PM
Sunday, April 09, 2006
tow tripod shoe
Where is a tripod shoe when you need it? Today I spent all day looking at other news organizations camera crews and pointing them to Tina and saying "I bet they have tripod Shoe" Now what is tripod shoe and why you need it? Well, too long of a story to explain, but basically it is the thing that attaches the camera to the tripod so you can get nice shots. Wow, that made things clear. It's been a long day, and really I am not functioning too well. I decided to scan a few of my pics from my childhood. I got a ton of crap from mom & dad for doing so, but these are my pictures and if I want to put them on my blog darn it I will!! I am hoping durin summer when I won't have anything better to do I will try to scan all of them in. Since we moved my mom put everything in to boxes and put them in the basement. It took me half an hour to recover my album, I don't know where the rest of the pictures are. I have to brave it and go digging in the basement to find more photos! So, here is some vintage kelebek! The rest is on flickr, at least the ones I didn't get yelled at for!
I've always loved the water. I am about two years old here.
The back of this photo has Jul 13 1986 on it, so it was taken on my second birthday!
This was taken in our summer-house in Silivre
I had very curly hair.
My mom hand-made my sweater for me! I think this is by Manavgat Selalesi. I love this picture, it looks like a postcard
I am head-to-toe red here. See the Pink Panther on the ground? I vaguely remember that thing.
Well, ok this is not my childhood, but look at how cute my little brother is here! He couldn't have been more than two years old here because I changed glasses when I was in sixth grade. See the scarf I am wearing? My mom actually let me borrow that for bayram (eid). I loved wearing her scarf. Made me feel all grown up! I don't know if you can tell from the photo, but my shoes has heels. I used to love walking on the heels of those shoes. I wanted to grow up so bad! I must have been 12 or 13 here, oh the joys of immaturity. kelebek }{
Come over here and let me hold your hand and hug you darling I promise you that it won't always feel this bad There are so many things I want to say to you You're the girl I used to be You little heartbroken thirteen year old me
You're laughing But you're hiding God I know that trick too well You forget That I've been you And now I'm just the shell I promise I love you and Everything will work out fine Don't try to Grow up yet Oh just give it some time -- P!nk
Posted at 10:51 PM
Thursday, April 06, 2006
tow producer
I figure since I complain so much about being in the library, maby I'll blog from the library. I shall go back to my thesis soon, but I need a break! Our show aired about two hours ago. It was nerve wrecking to sit there and watch the show unravel. Nothing went wrong, thank Allah! I am shooting a story on Madison's 150th birthday aniversary on Sunday, but I dnt' want to think about it now. That is how broadcast news is, there is no stopping. Bam, bam, bam one story after other. I am getting tired of this, but must keep going! I am going home to Milwaukee for a day. I haven't been home in ages! We are going to Chicago from there for the meeting. It should be fun. But I don't get to stay at home because gotta come back on Sunday to work on the story. I am tired. Really tired.. kelebek }{
Cok sahiplenmeden, Cok ait olmadan yasayacaksin Hem her an avuclarindan kayip gidecekmis gibi, Hem de hep senin kalacakmis gibi hayat. Ilisik yasayacaksin Ucudan tutarak.. -- Can Yucel
Posted at 6:43 PM
Monday, April 03, 2006
tow library
I swear after this thesis is handed in I won't look at the libraries the same way again. When I first came to the U.S. library was the awesome place I can get books to read to my then 3-year-old brother. We used to go there all the time to get books, check out videos and computer games for him. We used to take bus 51 and go to the Zablocki Library (click on the name to see the Web site), because we didn't have a car back then. Ah, good times! Furkan would sing up on the computer to play games, and I would browse books. Once I started MATC I used to go to library mainly to study for those darn Geography exams that used to be so darn hard. And in Madison I used to go to College Library a lot to study. But let me tell you people, that place is a zoo. It gets so insanely crowded, good luck getting any work done. So these days I live in the Memorial Library (click on the name to stalk me, eheheh). I go there six hours at a time to work on this darn thesis. Six hours people, sitting in the same desk staring at the same bookshelves, it gets maddening. I can get up and move to a different place, but it is pretty much the same. I have an aversion to mint, because my mom used to make me mint tea whenver I was nausated. I think I developed something similar to the libraries. Pretty soon I would start yawning and feeling stressed whenever I walk into a library. I dont' know how many pages I have done in my thesis, but really it is not nearly enough. I just want it to be done and handed it. I think I would feel so empty when it is done though. I don't have much else to say because honestly I havne't been doing anything except sitting infront of the computer and writing my thesis. I think my laptop sees me more than my friends and family do. I am scared I am going to get Carpal tunnel sydrome. I try to keep my wrists straight and do some exercises but too much typing! kelebek }{
I wanna be there when you call I wanna catch you when you fall I wanna be the one you need I wanna be the one you breathe -- Seether
Posted at 1:58 AM
