Mavi Kelebek

Sunday, February 26, 2006

tow too much to do

My thesis is killing me. It's really killing me. It's consuming all my thoughts, and all my time. I feel like I am writing this darn thing in my head as I am walking down the street. I gave up around 12:30 and decided to watch mindless TV. I took effects of mass communication last year and one of the things people use TV for is distraction. It's distracting all right! I watched an infomation about tools. I am not sure why I got suckered into watching about this tool that will fit all nuts and bolts --even rusted ones. You can have it in three easy payments of 49.95. But wait, call now and they'll increase it to 63 pieces form 48, a value of 40 yours absolutely free! They have an awesome slogan too "Any nut. Any size. Any where." That just sounds wrong!
Now I got sucked into a movie. "Sliding Doors." It's an interesting concept. Kind of hard to explain. My brain hurts from doing academic stuff, so I am completely justifying watching a romantic comedy 2 in the morning.
kelebek }{

I mean the best with what I say.
It doesn't always sound that way
I never learned to work things out cause
In my family all we ever seem to do is shout

But then I find you here
Through your eyes, everythings clear
And I'm home inside your arms,
but I'm alone for now.
-- Staind

Posted at 2:27 AM

Saturday, February 25, 2006

tow wind

When it got too hot in my room I opened the window to let some of the cool air in. I closed the window a little to hastily and it didn't close too well. As I type this I am laying on the floor balancing the laptop on my thighs. I can hear the wind entering my room through the half closed window. I should get up and close it but for some reason I like it. It's been this way for half an hour now and it filled my room with cold air. It is similar to adding drops of cold water into a cup filled with hot water. I doesn't make the hot water freezing cold, but it does leave spots of coldness. I will get up and close the window properly, but I don't want to. I don't want to move really. I think I will get up and close it now.
kelebek }{

Well I don't expect
The world to move underneath me
But for God's sake
Could you try?
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
-- Kelly Clarkson

Posted at 1:43 AM

Thursday, February 23, 2006

tow figure skating

Did I ever wrote about how I am a sucker for figure skating? Recently I found out that it wasn't just me. Turns out it's the most watched even in the Olympics. I of course can go online to see who won, Rachel did already, but I won't. I've been looking forward to this all week, so I am going to enjoy it.
I am going to organize my room. This weekend I need to get through the part one and two of my thesis so I need to really really work hard! I need also to do laundry because I haven't been home a whole a lot so my laundry is not done yet. I figure if I clean the floor of the newspapers and laundry I should be okay to go. Also I should get rid of the orange peels in cups. I developed a habit of leaving orange peels and breaking them into little pieces when they dry. Welcome to my world!
The from was all right really for the most part. then it got a little bad with people using the forum a way to air their comments. Yesterday we had the Muhammad (pbuh) exhibit. Cardinal of course gave space to cover it. We made the feature photo! The other paper, eh I think they are still hung up on the cartoons. I think the editoral page editor thought "Hmm, I think an easy way to fill content would be to publish this cartoon. That way instead of producing actualy content we can just publish letters to the editor."
All the best goes to Mr. Baiyliysiyteriy as he interviews with Princeton tomorrow. Don't forget my postcard!!
kelebek }{

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same(Ever the same)
-- Rob Thomas

Posted at 10:30 PM

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

tow random updates

I hate Mondays. I really, really hate Mondays. Things always go wrong at some point, but when things go wrong on a Monday, they go really wrong. I am not going to indulge in listing everything that's been going wrong (I don't have the time or the energy to do so) but just get the general idea that a lot things have been going wrong.
One of the things that's going wrong is that I lost my camera. I am so disapointed. I lose things all the time, but my camera?! I had so many pictures in there and now they are all gone. I don't know what to do.
I also managed to drop my phone in a cup of water. I had my phone next to me when I was sleeping. My mom put a cup of water next to the floor (we are in the process of moving so everything is gone to the other house.) So somehow when I was sleeping I must've pushed the phone out of my bed. And it fell smack dab in to the cup of water. It still works but sometimes I can't hear the voice and sometimes the screen reads "Car Kit." I don't own a car, yet alone a car kit!

Since I lost my camera, I've been resorting to my cell phone. The best quality it can do its 640X 480 so yeah, they suck!

One thing about Mr. Hobbes is that he's very picky about whose lap he sits on. It usually takes numerous callings for Mr. Hobbes to bless your lap with his presence. Look how cute Hubsy Bubsy is sitting on Alex's lap looking for love! That's Rachel next to Alex.
Alex (aka. Mr. Balistreri --That's the correct spelling by the way) wanted me to caption it this. "Mr. Hobbes attacks innocent bystander."

But I disagree. Look at hubsy bubsy, would he hurt anyone?

My brother of course. He go measured in school. Can you believe he's 5'1 (155 cm) already? MasaAllah!

For your enjoyment, here's a chat I had with my dad tonight.
me: i like talking to my dad
i loooooooooove my dad
N: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
me: oh whatever
love me?
N: ??????????????
me: well do you love me?
N: if you lost 20 lbs...
me: huh?
N: then i'll love you
me: but i don't want to lose 20 lbs
i like me like this
N: where is my "CITI PITI" kucuk kizim ? I loved her...
me: well get used to buyuk kizin
because I am staying this way
("citi piti" means someone so thin they'll break in half if you push them a little. and "kucuk kizim" means my little girl.
"buyuk kizin" means your big girl.)

My dear friend Yasmin started her own blog (YaY!). Check it out here: searchingstill.blogspot.com Ins, I'll add it to my links soon!

Tomorrow is the forum on the cartoon debate. The eloquently written press relase can be found here: http://www.news.wisc.edu/12190.html I am going to have an insanely busy day tomorrow, but I'll make it to the forum. I can not even begin to tell you the amount of e-mails I have written and received in this issue. InsaAllah tomorrow everything goes smoothly and we can have a sane debate about this!

kelebek }{

Had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again.
Spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace.
Smeared the lipstick on her face.
Slammed the door and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."

And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on

And had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note it said, "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."
-- Fuel

Posted at 12:48 AM

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

tow ugh

It is hard enough being part of a minority group in your own University. But what makes it even more maddening is that when one of your student newspapers publish hateful things against your group. The newspaper (not the Cardinal) published the worst of the 12 cartoons, blew it up and had a even more hateful editorial to go with it. So for the past week or so most of us Muslim Students have been working hard to get our view points across. Today the convinced the Chancellor to issue a stament about the cartoon republishing, and the local TV station picked it up. That's what I've been busy with.
I was planning on coming here to type my annual Valentine's day rant a few days ago. But now I am wrapped up in things that are so much more important, I don't even feel like talking about V-day. If you want, you can click on "February" under archives to read last years rant. Summary is that I don't belive in V-day and nobody can force me to celebrate my love on a certain day. I also told T about this and told him if he really wants to get me something, he can get it on a different date.
I have an exam tomorrow so I am going to go study for that a little bit more. Before the insanity begins again.
Kelebek }{

"Their intention is to extinguish Allah's Light with their mouths: But Allah will complete His Light, even though the Unbelievers may detest (it)" (61:8).

"So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For you will indeed gain mastery if you are true in Faith" (3:139).

Posted at 12:38 AM

Friday, February 10, 2006

tow ashura

Long, long, long day. I went to bed at four last night and got up around 10:00. I haven't sat down since then! I had to carry that 20 pound sucker of a camera and the damn camera case everywhere. Let me tell you those things weren't built for bus takers to lug around. My shoulders are aching all over. Sigh, wish I had a car. I had coffee with Jess in the morning. Then I shot in Humanities building. They have this cool chalk wall thingee. I was in class from 2:30 - 6:00 editing my script and all that jazz. I went to the iftar MSA had and got to see all my friends. After that I went to shoot the Quiz Ball practice, again for broadcast class. And the last thing I did was to visit my friend, Fatma Abla and meet baby Numan. I didn't get a chance to see the new baby until today. I am so happy that I did! He's so tiny with tiny fingers and tiny toes and tiny tummy, tiny everything. I didn't have my camera with me, so I couldn't take pictures, but trust me he's a cutie! Fatma Abla's husband was nice enough to give me a ride home. It would have been torture to walk to the bus stop in that snow and carrying that camera. Ugh.
"I am sorry. I didn't know."
kelebek }{

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
-- Cross Fade

Posted at 1:33 PM

Thursday, February 09, 2006

tow blood drive

I gave blood today, so everyone be nice to me. Well, that's what the sticker I got said anyway! It was more on a whim than anything. Tina was shooting the blood drive for our broadcast class and I didn't have anything else to do. Since it's been over a year since I donated blood, I decided to donate. It went fine, this was my third time donating. My blood flows freakishly fast into that bag that they put the blood in. Well I am sure it's not a bag, but I don't know what it's called! I was done in half an hour. Then of course you get to eat bunch of junk food. Yum! But it is bad idea to donate blood if you really didn't have much to eat all day. And, I didn't have any coffee today so double bad. I barely made it home before I passed out on my bed. I did watch a little bith of the Grammys. Don't know Madonna freaks me out, with her leotard (or unitard whatever that thing she wears is). I was happy to see Kelly Clarkson got an award I like her!
I am now procastinating preparing for tomorrows shoot. I am going to shoot a little in Humanities building of the chalk wall. Then I am not entirely sure what I want to do with my next story. It's supposed to be VO/SOT. I've been taking the Broadcast Journalism class for three weeks, but I already feel like there is thousand and one terms I don't know about. Sigh, gotta keep at it I suppose!
Oh, and I totally get to brag about Mr. Bahliysiyteriyri (Alex). He got an interview with Princeton! Yes, the Princeton, the fancy schmancy Ivy league university. He said he wasn't accepted yet, but come on why else would they fly him all the way to freakin New Jersey to interview him? The interview is on the 24th, and I am assuming he would appreciate good lucks, prayers, duas! YAY! Mini wave in celebration of Alex!
kelebek }{

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far 
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star 
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are
-- Goo Goo Dolls

Posted at 1:16 AM

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

tow 8 days

Oh boy, better get cracking on those hearts, candies, roses, and whatever else you are required to buy your valentine this Valentines day. This sign is on the store front of the place I walk by everday after I buy my daily latte. I don't know what is it about this day that bugs me so much. Last year I posted a whole essay on it on my blog (I haven't figured out how to link to it just yet, but i'll try in my earliest convinience). I thought I would remind the ones who'll be celebrating how much time they have left. Well, it is down to 7 days since is 2:25 in the morning right now!
Apart from my cynicism about VD, not much else is going on. I have a paper due tomorrow at 1:00, I don't have it done. But will hopefully drag myself out of bed early enough to be able to finish it. Uuuh, I have to share this. I got my first grade of the semester and it is an A. YES! Hopefully many more will be coming this semester. I think I am going to spend more time time complaning about my thesis then actually doing the darn thing! But argh, I won't complain.
And I am not apatheic about the world news. The cartoon business is bothering me, and I did get into a lot discussions about it. But I don't have the desire to reiterate everything I've been saying for the past week or so. It is very difficult attending a university where I am always the only Muslim in my classes. I mean obviously there are plenty of Muslims in my university, jus not in my classes. I feel like I somehow have to be the speaksperson for all things Islamic. Not that I mind, but it gets frustrating after a while.
I am off to sleep, I'll leave you with an adorable picture of Mr. Hobbes. (Yeah, that's me next to him, I don't have a picture of Mr. Hobbes without me in it. So, cover the left half if you only want to see Hubsy Bubsy!)
Happy Monday to everyone except the person who didn't return my phone call!

kelebek }{

I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear
Into this night I wander
it's morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
nothing stands between us here
-- Sarah McLachlan

Posted at 2:40 AM

Sunday, February 05, 2006

tow search

Whoa, I am flattered. Actually I am so flattered that I am posting to my blog 3 in the morning. I am assuming most people really didn't understand what my other post was about but I was basically complaining about my baaaad sleeping habits. I started staying up late, as you can see here late. So back to flattery, I am always fascinated by the search terms that leads people to my blog. Most common one being "kelebek" But tonight I saw the best one yet. This was the search term:

DUNYANIN EN GUZEL KADINLARI

In all caps just like that. Translated it means

"THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD."

YEAH! Ehehe, I know I know. I probably just used those words in some random combination at some point but it made my day, well night. No day. I dunno any more so sleepy.
Another reason to blog this late is to wish Jessy a happy birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Ehehe, 3 hours too late, but better late then never. I unfortunately can't link to her blog because of some people stalking or bothering her or something or another.
I shall turn off my compoootooor and go to sleep. Tomorrow I must, must, must get this darn outline done for my thesis!!! It is also the superbowl. I gotta watch it for the commercials. I am not sure who's playing. I heard Steelers and Sea Hawks. I should call my brother and see who I am supporting! GO WHOMEVER WINS!!
kelebek }{

Update: I decided to support steelers. so GO STEELERS!

Posted at 3:09 AM

Friday, February 03, 2006

tow "he looks different"

*********
Before I clicked "publish post" I was messing around with a Firefox extension that turns all the text into "Bork. Bork. Bork." text which changes all the things on a web page in to the way the Sweedish Cook from the Muppets would say it. When I clicked on it I didn't realize it would turn my entire post into Bork text. I can't figure out how to de-borkify my text, so enjoy it like this. Besides it is kinda fun!
More info on Bork text is here: http://www.snert.com/Software/bork.html
kelebek }{
*********
I em ectooelly leeking Feeuna Epple's noo CD. Zee furst time-a I leestened tu it, I deedn't leeke-a it ell thet mooch, boot noo I du.
Zeese-a deys I em ooferslept, oofer ceffffeeeneted. Vheech is sleeghtly better zeen underslept und underceffffeeeneted. I em feeleeng fery fery unprudooctife-a tudey. I hed a meeting veet a TA eruoond 12:30, I peeed zee tooshun teht ves dooe-a tudey. I ceme-a hume-a intendeeng tu teke-a a shurt nep, vheech toorned oooot tu be-a nut su shurt. Noo I vuke-a up veet a heedeche-a, su I mede-a a put ooff cuffffee-a. Yeeh, su I em nut incleened tu a vhule-a a lut, boot I shuoold becoose-a I need tu du mure-a vurk oon my zeesees. Ieek, zee zeesees. It is scereeng me-a. I theenk iff I cuoold joost get sterted I veell be-a eble-a tu get gueeng, boot thet duesn't seem tu be-a zee cese-a. Seence-a I knoo I vun't get unyvurk dune-a in zeeees reelm I meeght es vell gu cetch up oon zee reedeengs fur oozeer clesses. Yeeh, thet's vhet I'll du. F0r zee recurd I foonshun best vhee I em underslept und ooferceffffeeeneted.
I cuuked fur myselff tudey. It is nut sumetheeng I du fery oofftee becoose-a I usooelly dun't hefe-a time-a und oozeer times I em joost tuu dern lezy tu meke-a sumetheeng decent. Tudey I felt embeetiooos eeuoogh tu cuuk. I mede-a ped theee veet shreemp und feggeees. It toorned oooot pretty guud ectooelly, I deedn't theenk ooff tekeeng a peectoore-a, I shuoold hefe-a. Ooh vell. Rechel is elsu feeleeng embeetiooos zeese-a deys. Cuoople-a ooff deys egu she-a mede-a grunula und tudey she-a mede-a breed. It is qooeete-a testy ectooelly. My mum leekes tu pueent oooot thet vhu ifer merreees me-a veell breeng me-a beck zee next dey becoose-a I cun't cuuk! Vell mum, I cun cuuk, I joost dun't leeke-a zee prucess und cleuneeng up effterverds. Elthuoogh T cleeems he's a decent cuuk, I gooess ve-a shell see-a ifentooelly iff he's telleeng zee troot!
Rech und I rented "40 yeer oold furgeen" yesterdey. It ves pretty foonny boot zee eedeeng seemed tu dreg oon, und oon, und oon!
Vheele-a luukeeng thruoogh zee shelfes ooff noo mufeees I tuuk oooot "Bruzeers Greemm" vheech ooff cuoorse-a hes ifer dreemy Mett Demun, it elsu hes Heet Ledger.

Me-a: (in hupes ooff cunfeencing Rechel tu let us rent it) Luuk thees oone-a hes thet cooboy doode-a frum Brukebeck
Rechel: (luuks et zee cufer) He-a luuks deefffferent

Heelerity eesooes.

Posted at 10:50 PM

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

tow keyboard cut

I survived two weeks worth of classes. I had to go through lotta schedule changes but I finally settled on four classes:
J646 --> Mass Media and the Consumer
J675 --> Topics in Mass Media: Law & Ethics
J419 --> Broadcast Journalims
J682 --> My ever lovely thesis
I am excited about my broadcast class. It is basically all about TV news. We are learning so much, it is kinda diffucult. Starting sixth week of class, sometime in March, we are going to have weekly Web broadcasts. Isn't that exciting? Well I think it is. I am not quite if it is a field I want to pursue, but it is certainly exciting. I am yet to see a Muslim reporter with a headscarf on TV news, but hey a first time for everything eh?
I am positively freaking out about my thesis. Sigh, pray for me people, it is going to be so much work. If only I can get half of it done. I'll be happy!
I don't know if I complained about this before, but my keyboard is missing the "B" key. I was trying to clean up underneath it and the darn thing popped out. I've been using it like that for a while but I called customer service said they'll send me new one. I thought they were sending me a key, turns out they sent me a whole darn keyboard. Yay for Gateway!! But the letter said, " Please find enclosed the replacement part that you requested along with easy-to-read installation instructions" Except there were no darned instructions. I found them online but they weren't for my laptop. With Bahliysteriy's help I was able to replace the keyboard. But when I was trying to take the old keyboard out I got a big o "keyboard cut" on my finger. Yeah, I know normal people get "paper cuts" but this is me we are talking about! It's quite a pain to type with a gash on my left index finger.
Grr the amount of reading is mounting steadly. No matter how hard I read, I always fall behind. It is VERY annoying constantly playing catch up! I really like one of the things I am reading. The book is called "NO LOGO." Highly recomended. It is entertaing yet informative read.
Did anybody watched Bush's State of the Union Speech? Also an entertaining experience. The camera had lotta Hilary reaction shots. She was smirking and shaking her head. I foudn the "half ovations" highly amusing too! But in all seriousness I hope things improve soon. Especially for the schools. This "no child left behind" business is total crap. My brother can't even go to one of the good schools because we don't live in a rich neighborhood. So no matter how brilliant the kid is, if you don't have the $$ for the suburban schools your child won't get the education she or he deserves. In other news, my family decided to move go Greendale (kinda suburby). We did find a nice town house with a reasonable rent. I'll probably document the journey as we move in. But yeah, we really shoudln't have to pack up and pay more rent just so my brother can get a decent education. No child left behind? Hah, more like no rich child left behind. The poor and the rest can stay way behind, no problem.
kelebek }{

It's the truth universally acknowledged...that the moment one area of your life starts going OK...another part of it falls spectacularly to pieces.
-- Bridget Jones

Posted at 12:58 AM